everything's a competition

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

Can we go back to the days when my only KPI was measured by how much sushi I could roll up out of leaves and sand before the midday sun burns up the playground?

Sex was something I filled up on forms and not something that filled my prime-time television hours. Back when stickers were meant to be pasted on the borders of notebooks and not on the edges of my shoes and clothes just so that I won’t hurt my feet or expose something. I didn’t need a different bra just to wear a different dress.

Okay, I didn’t need bras, period.

There was no period.

A period was the longest duration between two toilet breaks in school and not the cause for a dozen more toilet breaks in a month.

Those days, “I’ve got project work lah,” was an excuse we told our parents to hang out with friends after school. These days, working on projects means you probably won’t get to see your friends after hours.

Can we go back to the days when blanket forts were the only walls I needed to put up? When tiny teacups always need refilling but teapots never run dry. Maybe we could play hide-and-seek in elevators and draw the ire of our neighbours.

Thank you

I actually just created a new blog. I don’t even know why, I just wanted to escape from the real life links that this one had and wanted to create one that was as far removed from my fandoms as possible.

I’ve been having this recurring nightmare where my friends and acquaintances start to figure out how deep I am into all these ‘time-wasting k-poop’ stuff and it terrifies me. That I’d have to choose between them and fandom. And fandom includes all the friends I’ve made over the past couple of years, people with whom I’ve shared more of myself than I ever planned or expected to.

Then inevitably, and invariably, the question begs: how real are your online friends anyway?

• Friend A: I get texts from her anytime of the day, we talk about everything, she tells me every aspect of her day from the time she wakes up to every annoyance she gets in class. I share random photos of my workplace.
• Friend B: I send her msn messages whenever I see funny memes. We don’t always get each other’s message on time so I tend to leave my computer on so that she can still send messages when I’m busy or asleep. We tried webcamming but the speed’s too slow.
• Friend C: He is my punching bag, the person I go to when I need to rant and just let things out. Seeing him on webcam somehow makes me feel less lonely. I never have to care about him judging me and we talk about each other’s love lives or lack of.

Friend B is my best friend. Friends A and C are friends I met online.

I’m not comparing the extent of our friendship. I’m just saying that friendship cannot be contained within mere geographies. Lesser communication also doesn’t necessarily weaken it. Sharing everything isn’t crucial in strengthening it.

I am so thankful for all of you.

 ♥

While browsing all my favourite blogs to look at nice themes I could use in my new blog, I came across all of these pretty gifs.

GIFs of SHINee.

Laughing. Being dorks. Smiling. Performing. Singing. Dancing. Falling over nothing.

I’m reminded of why I follow these 5 guys. Why I love them. Why I spent so much time and money on them.

Why they make me so very happy.

And why it is just completely silly for me to leave the fandom just to placate the people I meet in real life.

These boys may not know who I am, but they were there singing to me when I needed company. They made me literally roll on the floor in laughter when I thought my days couldn’t be any more miserable. Their courage gave me hope. Their aspirations gave me confidence.

I’m sorry if you can’t take me seriously if I like younger boys who sing songs in a different language. 

I’m sorry you felt the need to make me feel guilty about my own interests.

…

But these boys… they’ve never failed to make me smile.

I